I have been with my partner for seven and a half years now, and for most of that time, we’ve been exclusive. I can’t remember when we closed down the relationship to outsiders, but it was quite early on.
Well, excitingly (and terrifyingly), that’s about to change. Mr TeaAndSpanking (let’s call him ‘A’) is a fair bit older than me and quite frankly I think I’ve worn him out. At any rate, he seems to have reached an age, where he’d rather have a nap or watch the football than engage in a full-on 3-hour BDSM scene with all the bells* and whistles**.
We have no plans to separate. A is lovely, funny, and kind and benefits my life in every way possible, apart from bending me over and thrashing me senseless with a wooden paddle as frequently as I’d like.
If I had to choose between staying with him and getting spanked on the regular, then I would (begrudgingly) go without BDSM just so I can keep him in my life.
But happily, I don’t have to choose. A is perfectly happy for me to outsource those sorts of shenanigans to third-party providers. So that’s what I’m going to do. Look out, ladies and gentlemen, I’m back on the market!
It’s all very exciting but also really, really nerve-wracking. I’m so out of practice at this sort of thing. I haven’t been on a date since I stopped drinking seven years ago. And while I was surprisingly diligent at keeping to the ‘don’t drink and kink’ rule for an alcoholic, the rest of my smutty lifestyle – the first dates, the meet-ups, the munches, the post-spanking chillout – were positively steeped in dry white wine.
And I’m older now, too, of course. I was a sprightly 42-year-old last time I was on OKCupid and Fab Swingers. And look, I know that there is definitely space in the active kink scene for a fat 50 year-old, but it’s still taking a bit of time to muster up the required self-confidence to put myself out there.
Deep breath. It’s time to take my big girl pants off and get my arse out there. I’ll let you know how it goes.
* rope
** ball gags