Tangled: Hair, hi-jinks, hugs and happily ever afters

I have just finished rewatching Disney’s Tangled and am feeling all warm and fuzzy because, honestly, anyone who doesn’t feel all tingly around the heart area at the end of Tangled probably lacks a fully functioning soul.

Rapunzel and Flynn Rider are an adorable couple. They are one of my favourite Disney couples of all time. And you know me, I fucking love a Disney romance.

Hair spoilers!

Of course, I have a few problems with the movie. I am a Film Nit-Picker Extraordinaire. For example, Mother Gothel is considered ‘selfish’ for hiding the Magic Flower of Magicness under a basket. However, the the moment the Queen suffers from a bit of Terminal Sickness, everyone is happy to uproot the magic weed and boil it up despite not even knowing if it will cure the non-specific terminal whatever-it-is. Happily, it resulted in magic glowy hair but those gung-ho flower boilers didn’t know that. Who’s selfish now, huh?

I’m also not comfortable with the way that (spoilers!) Mother Gothel is off-handedly sent plummeting to her death at the end of the movie. Sure, she was an evil witch and everything but she was also the only mother that Rapunzel had ever known. Plenty of people in the real world have mums who are manipulative, selfish and emotionally abusive. Eighteen years of that shit wrapped up in a warped idea of a loving parent/child relationship isn’t going to be that easy to shrug off. Rapunzel loved that evil hag. I can’t believe she just accepted Gothel’s sort-of murder with a “Fa la la. Off to meet my new Mummy now!”

And don’t even get me started on my Number 1 Most Hated Movie Trope: Thwacking People Unconscious With Blunt Instruments For Comic Effect. Hitting people with frying pans until they pass out isn’t cool, would-be princesses! People die from that shit.

Not cool, Rapunzel.

Despite that (and my several hundred other nit-picky problems with the plot), I love Tangled. I love the relationship that develops between Rapunzel and bad-boy-turned-not-so-bad, Flynn Rider. You know what I really love? They don’t get married at the end of the film.

In the words of Flynn in the end-of-movie narration: “But I know what the big question is? Did Rapunzel and I ever get married? Well I am happy to say after years and years of asking, I finally said yes.”

OK, it turns out that it was Flynn doing the asking, but I really like the “years and years” bit. Our princess and her suitor met, went on a big adventure, fell in love and then waited years before tying the knot. Like normal people. Every other Disney princess ever would have been well advised to do the same rather than leaping into matrimony before they were out of their teens.

I think things might actually work out for those two crazy kids.

They’re still a couple in a totally different movie. That’s got to be a good sign.

It’s got me thinking. Which Disney romances are likely to go the distance? Someone really needs to look into this. And by ‘someone’, I mean me, obviously.

Hold tight, readers, I am going to provide an in-depth analysis into Disney romantic pairings tomorrow. In the mean time, feel free to let me know about your favourite Disney couples in the comments.