I was 64% through Lucy Moo’s Sold to the Farm when I shut my Kindle and decided that enough was enough and I didn’t want to read any more. About two minutes later, I picked my Kindle up and started reading again because I wanted to know how it was all going to pan out.

It’s a funny business reading books which are about kinks which are not your own. I’ve never read a Hucow story before so I have no idea how representative of the genre Lucy Moo’s book is. It’s very dark, that’s for sure.

‘Hucow’ is short for Human Cow. Urban Dictionary defines a hucow as “a woman who chooses to be objectified for her large mammaries and ability to lactate constantly” but Sold to the Farm goes way further than that.

The women at the HC Dairy Farm are mentally and physically reprogrammed until they are bovine, docile, and basically non-human. They are abused by the farm workers, milked and bred by animalistic human bulls. The book is categorised under “Erotic Horror” which seems fair.

It’s all very bleak. The protagonist, Sarah, never stands a chance. As the first person narration shifts from alert, horrified kidnap victim to hazy, compliant hucow, it reminded me of the bit in Neil Gaiman’s How the Marquis Got His Coat Back, when the Marquis de Carabas is in the thrall of the shepherds. That was extremely creepy and got under my skin and I suspect that Sold to the Farm might do too.

I didn’t find the book arousing. This was partly down to not-my-kink reasons. Lactation is not my thing. But then there were plenty of things in Sold to the Farm that would absolutely tick my boxes under other circumstances like restraints, gags and scenes where one woman gets taken by multiple men. But as this book went hurtling past the ‘dubcon’ mark and disappeared off into the ‘creepy horrorshow’ horizon, it didn’t do it for me.

If that is your thing, however, you may want to give this book a go. I usually give star ratings for my book reviews but I’ve given that a miss here. I read this book out of idle curiosity (and because it was short and available on Kindle Unlimited) but I am obviously not its intended audience.

I do have a question about the book though, how on earth does the HC Dairy Farm make enough money to run their operations? The implication is that there are a whole bunch of customers who want to buy human milk. These customers aren’t getting access to any of the girls and slaking their kinky lusts on them. They’re simply buying the end product, presumably packaged in a glass bottle with a nice foil top.

Even in Lucy Moo’s alternate universe, would there really be enough demand for that to pay for all that technology, full time employees, and complicated hucow milking devices? They must charge an absolute packet.