This is my ‘K’ post for the Spanking A-Z Blog Challenge. “What’s that?” you ask. Check out my page here for more information and a list of all the wonderful bloggers taking part.
A year ago when I undertook this insane Spanking A to Z blog challenge for the first time, I wrote a blog post called K is for Kissing.
As I said at the time “I’ve compiled a list of some of my favourite on-screen kisses. I’ve stuck to M/F tongue wrestling to keep the numbers down. I think M/M and F/F kiss scenes require a whole separate post of their own.”
If you’ve been waiting with bated breath for the last twelve months to find out what my favourite same sex onscreen kisses are, then your time has come at last! Hurray! Celebrate by grabbing the nearest same sex person and sticking your tongue down their throat in an enthusiastic manner. (Only if you’re sure they would be up for it, mind. Otherwise it could be awkward. And illegal.)
And you know what else that TV programme about a teenage vampire slayer had? Best lesbian couple EVER. Willow and Tara bonded through their shared skills in witchcraftery in Season Four. And then they fell in love. It was beautifully and understatedly handled. There was never an after-school special “Sometimes a girl might develop feelings for another girl and THAT’S OK’ vibe about it. They were two lovely people who were obviously right for one another and it just sort of blended seamlessly into a show full of vampires, demons, killer robots, Government-created Frankenstein-y monsters and the like.
It’s surprising to realise that the first onscreen kiss between Willow and Tara didn’t happen until the Season Five episode, “The Body”. That was a grim episode which dealt with the entirely mundane-and-not-due-to-any-mythological-monsters death of Buffy’s mom, Joyce.
The kiss was necessary and sincere. Tara was reassuring her panicked and grief-stricken lover who was trying to process her feelings about the death of her best friend’s mother.
And some viewers still complained about it. Because some people are awful.
Doctor Who / Torchwood
The first time we meet Captain Jack Harkness is in the Doctor Who episode The Empty Child, which takes place during the Second World War. The Doctor’s assistant, Rose is in a perilous position hanging on for dear life and Harkness is checking her out with his binoculars. “Nice bottom,” he says. His companion, Algy, looks a little put out by the remark. “I say, old man. There’s a time and a place,” he says.
Captain Jack rushes off to save the damsel in distress but not before telling Algy “You’ve got an excellent bottom too” and slapping him on the arse. Algy looks incredibly happy about it.
It’s a wonderful introduction to the character of Captain Jack, establishing his bisexuality in about four lines. And this is in a programme aired at tea time and aimed at children, don’t forget. Because the wonderful Russell T “Queer as Folk” Davies was the man responsible for making Doctor Who cool again. And as well as being one of the best television writers ever, he is a homosexual man who loves to include all kinds of gayness into everything he writes. God bless him.
There was a spin-off Doctor Who series called Torchwood. (‘Torchwood’ being an anagram of ‘Doctor Who’.) Torchwood was basically “Doctor Who for Grown Ups”. Of course, grown-ups already watch Doctor Who. (Or at least those with any sense do.) The first couple of seasons of Torchwood were basically “Doctor Who with more swearing and nakedness” and then it became “Doctor Who if everything was grimmer and more awful and all the good people died.”
And throughout all the threats to the planet from hostile aliens (and they’re literally always at it. It’s a good thing we’ve got Torchwood), flamboyant, egocentric Captain Jack Harkness fell in love with his sweet, quiet Welsh co-worker Ianto Jones. There were some wonderful kisses between the two of them. Because you’d think Ianto would be all subservient to the time travelling immortal future-man who is also technically his boss. But, no, when it comes to kissing, Ianto was very good at taking the lead.
And while we’re talking about the lovely and amazing Russell T “Queer as Folk” Davies, my absolute favourite television programme so far this year has been Cucumber (and its sister programmes Banana and Tofu.)
The story focuses mostly on middle-aged Henry who splits with his long-term lover, Lance, in the first episode following a disastrous date night and then Henry’s life gets progressively weirder. It was a gripping story which I sometimes had to watch through my fingers as parts of it were too heartbreaking to watch without the protection that partially splayed fingers can provide.
I was reluctant to include the scene below because it’s not really a gay kiss. The lads making out to Katy Perry’s “I kissed a girl” are all straight. It’s a wonderful scene though. I love how the boys wipe their mouths the moment Henry stops recording. Poor conflicted Henry, heartbroken and adrift watching two heterosexual youngsters (one of whom is his nephew) pretending to be gay in the pursuit of internet fame.
Abdellatif Kechiche’s 2013 film was marketed as a lesbian love story between Adèle (Adèle Exarchopoulos) and Emma (Léa Seydoux). And while there is a lot of lesbian love stuff here, I think the original French title – La vie d’Adèle chapitres 1 et 2 – describes the film better. It’s a coming of age story in which Adèle grows up, finds herself, falls in love and then fucks it all up royally. There are plenty of kisses (and a lot of sex) but I think the most memorable kiss takes place near the end of the film when Adèle and Emma meet up in a cafe post breakup. Emma has moved on with her life and is in a new relationship. Adèle however is desperate to reconnect and attempts to seduce Emma into taking her back. It’s a painful scene to watch because I think we can all relate to it. Wanting something so much that any sense of pride goes out of the window.
|You remember the almost-kiss! It happened just after this bit!|