I am exhausted. Absolutely bone-achingly mind-hurtingly exhausted. And it feels like there is no good reason for this. My day job as a Software Developer is busy but it’s not as though I’m doing long shifts at a hospital or something. I am working from home right now so I haven’t even had a three hour daily commute since March.
The tiredness doesn’t come from lack of sleep. I have become quite the expert at daytime napping since the beginning of lockdown. I could happily lie down on the sofa and nap right now.
It doesn’t come from physical exertion either. I was never the most active sporty person in the world but these days, my main form of exercise is walking from my desk to the toilet.
And that’s the problem really. Fucking Covid. Just thinking about what I should and should not be doing is a constant source of low level of anxiety. Like an app running on a phone which is constantly draining the battery.
My world has become so small. The space where I work eight hours a day, is also the space where I write. It’s the space where I attend my online AA meetings. Same four walls. Same chair. The only slight difference is which particular lap top screen I’m staring out.
I need a holiday. And that, happily, is exactly what I’m going to get.
I have finished work today for two weeks. My Out Of Office is on. I have told my colleagues that I won’t be checking my work emails. For the next couple of weeks, I will have one less thing to worry about.
And I’m going away! A proper holiday to the actual seaside! I can go swimming. Probably in the hotel pool rather than diving into the sea off the south coast of England mid-October but, honestly, I wouldn’t rule sea swimming out. I do rather enjoy swimming in freezing cold water. Must be the masochist in me.
I will be in a different place to my usual place. I will have different views out of the windows. It’s making me feel quite giddy.
And as I am going away with my delightful Dom Boyfriend, the plan is that pervy shenanigans will also feature. A lot.
Sea, sex and spanking is exactly what I need right now.