When it comes to kinky activities, I’d like to think that I am open-minded and up for trying new stuff. (In fact when it comes to any activities, I’d like to think that I’m up for trying new stuff.)
The fact remains, though that I really do only have one very specific kink that occupies at least 90% of my thoughts at any given time. I just really, really like being hit on the arse with stuff.
I’m quite fond of bondage. Especially rope. It’s something I would like to have the chance to explore further. But generally almost all of the kinky explorations I have undertaken over the last six months have involved finding exciting new things to be hit on the arse with. Sure, we can try other stuff. But won’t that just cut into our spanking time?
There are a few things that I definitely don’t want to try. Knife play is out. As is fire play. And I am not OK with any kind of playing in a public place. Outside of that, anything’s up for discussion.
Which brings us on to gags. I haven’t been gagged before but it is something that I would be willing to explore with a partner that I trusted.
The thing is, gags really scare me. I have been trying to work out my feelings behind this. Why am I OK with the idea of someone tying me up to the extent that I am completely at their mercy, yet the idea of having my mouth put out of action freaks me out?
I think, the answer lies in how I would feel if I were in a real-life dangerous situation. Say if I were kidnapped and being held hostage, the idea that being unable to speak would somehow be more dangerous than not being able to move. I don’t rate my chances of being able to run away very fast. My chances of overcoming anyone in a fight are pretty much nil. At some level, I think that my best weapon in a dangerous situation would be the ability to talk my way out of it.
I hope I never get the chance to put this – frankly pretty shaky – hypothesis to the test. I do think that it goes some way to explaining my fear of gags though. If I’m gagged then I’m robbed of my ability to talk, I’m robbed of my use of language. This is far more incapacitating to me than being physically restrained.
You can tie me up; you can spank me; you can cane me; you can leave my backside covered in bruises and welts. And, quite frankly I wish you would. But try and shut me up for five minutes? That might be a challenge.