Bonding: Ten reasons why Tiff is a terrible Dominatrix

Netflix’s Bonding returns tomorrow for a new season! BDSM-related comedy dramas are a bit thin on the ground in mainstream media so Rightor Doyle’s kink-themed TV series, based on his own experiences as Dominatrix’s assistant, was always going to be on my watch list.

I’ve just re-watched the first season and a comment made in the final episode has got me thinking. “They say you’re the best in town,” a new client tells Mistress May, the Domme-y alter ego of main character, Tiff.

OK, given the creepiness of the character in question, he was probably fibbing when he said that. But still, it’s safe to say, that Tiff is a very long way from being the best in town. In fact, she’s actually pretty terrible at her job.

Here are my top ten reasons why Mistress May needs to go back to Dominatrix school.

1. She doesn’t respect security measures.

The very first episode starts with Pete, Tiff’s childhood best friend, arriving at Tiff’s Not-A-Brothel BDSM venue. Except he clearly doesn’t know that’s what it is. He hasn’t been given the password and asks for his friend by her real name rather than her Dominatrix one. I get that it was written that way so that the reveal to Pete and the reveal to the audience of Tiff’s alternative lifestyle could happen at the same time. However, it shows a pretty lax attitude to the venue’s security measures on Tiff’s part.

A place like that relies on security, discretion and the promise of privacy to its clients. People who have paid good money to be tied up, spanked and walk around in baby clothes don’t want any Jonny-come-lately wandering in off the streets and seeing them getting their kink on.

So why invite a guy in who is so totally unprepared? For all Tiff knew, Pete might have compromised security massively after he’s sees the faces of at least three different guys there. Inform your potential co-worker of the facts before letting them in the door, Tiff. The rules are there for a reason.

2. She includes a third person in a scene without asking the client first

Look, fetishes can be fragile things. You could be really into, say, having balloons thrown at your naked stomach, but then someone decides to switch the balloons out for beach balls and the moment is completely ruined.

That’s why a professional Domme needs to discuss all her client’s requirements in advance to ensure that they’re getting the experience that pushes all their pervy buttons.

What you don’t do is totally change the set-up of a scene without even telling your client first.

Clearly, Tiff doesn’t think that that’s important though as she blithely includes Pete in pre-arranged appointments without checking first whether having a semi-dressed chap in the room fits with her client’s preferred scenario.

Luckily pee-guy and tickle-couple seem all fine with it. But seriously Tiff, you might want to square this stuff with the paying customer ahead of time.

3. She breaks character during a scene

Like with the above point, anyone who has signed up for Tiff’s services probably has a good idea about how they want their scene to go.

What they’re not going to expect is for Tiff to suddenly break character and start having an argument with Pete about his life choices. Do that stuff on your own time, guys.

4. She engages in unsafe rope-tying practises.

I was always taught that if you play with rope, then you must take safety very seriously indeed. You establish a safe word, you keep your safety shears handy and you absolutely do not tie someone up and then bugger off to do some chores without untying them first.

Not so Tiff. She gives Pete a rope ‘lesson’ which involves tying his hands together and just leaving him. “It’s all part of the lesson”, she tells him. That’s not a great lesson. She should try actually teaching him stuff like how to tie knots and how not to endanger the wellbeing of your robe bunny.

A couple of scenes later, Pete is seen tying up pee-guy. Wait, was Tiff’s terrible tutorial all the instruction he’s had on rope-tying? If so, I guess we can all assume that Pete’s technique isn’t going to be all that safe either.

5. She discusses one client’s requirements during another client’s appointment

In episode 2, Pete barges in on Tiff and a prospective client in order to loudly declare that he doesn’t want to pee on pee-guy.

Rather than tell him to go away and discuss it another time, Tiff proceeds to engage in conversation with Pete about this. On another client’s time! Would you do in this in absolutely any other client business meeting scenario? In any industry? No? Well, you certainly shouldn’t be doing it here either.

6. She has a very shaky grasp of ‘consent’.

Tiff continually runs roughshod over Pete’s boundaries. “If I told you what we were going to do before we did it then you wouldn’t do it,” she tells him. Even when Pete explicitly “pleads the fifth” and says “No means No”, she still ignores him.

Admittedly, she isn’t shown demonstrating such a cavalier attitude towards her clients. But, if she can’t even respect the notion of consent when it comes to her best friend then it doesn’t bode well for the rest of her working life.

7. She shares stuff about her personal life with her clients.

“I’m actually not sure [Pete] is willing to work with me any more,” she tells tickle-couple. “I think I might have majorly fucked up.”

Tickle-couple are terribly nice about it all but seriously, it’s all about boundaries here Tiff. These people are paying good money for some tickling and face-slapping action. They don’t want to hear about your problems,

8. She doesn’t show up at all for one of her clients

Poor penguin-guy. He gets all dressed up ready for a penguin-wrestle with Mistress May and she doesn’t even bother putting in an appearance. (Which also kinda raises questions about how the Not-a-Brotherl BDSM house works. Do they just let people in to hang about even when their Domme isn’t even on the premises?)

Luckily penguin-guy seems to enjoy his impromptu appointment with a be-penguined Pete. But Tiff being a no-show for an appointment shows a serious lack of basic work ethics.

9. She blurs the boundaries between work and home life

Okay, this one is a bit of a grey area. There are plenty of Dommes out there who are out and proud and living the BDSM lifestyle both in and out of work. So, Tiff, having a full-time slave in her home, turning up to a college class, whip in hand, in full fetishwear or tying her prospective boyfriend to a chair isn’t necessarily a problem.

Except that none of it really seems to make Tiff happy. She certainly doesn’t give the impression that she has taken up Dominatrix-ing because of her own personal kinks. Which makes me think that, for example, getting a boyfriend who’s into being dominated, probably isn’t a great idea for her. Neither was having a live-in sub slave. (And not just because he turned out to be a weirdo.)

The poor girl is just going to feel like she’s at work all the time. In Tiff’s case, she definitely needs some down time. Not least because, as we’ve already discussed, she’s not all that good at the Domming malarky.

10. She dresses like a submissive

I love Tiff’s Mistress May wardrobe. I want all of her leather-look kinkywear for myself. Admittedly, it wouldn’t look quite the same on a fat fortysomething as it does on svelte Zoe Levin.

But, you know, age and weight aren’t the only differences between me and Tiff. I am a submissive. And while a lot of fetishwear like corsets, stockings, and fuck-me boots features on both sides of D/s dynamic, some of the stuff is strictly subs-only.

You see those collars you guys are wearing, Tiff? The one’s with the rings attached to the front for attaching a lead? That’s not Domme stuff. Punk and Goth fashions might embrace the dog collar purely for its edgy aesthetic, but when you’re playing in the BDSM world, that shit means something. When my Dom attaches my collar then we both know that I’m sure as hell not the one giving the orders.

But, you know, maybe writer Rightor Doyle knows how bad Tiff is at all this stuff. Perhaps the inappropriate sub-wear is there as a big fat clue to the audience that his characters really have no idea about what they’re doing.

If so, it will be interesting to see how this develops in Season 2. Will it be a journey of self-discovery for Tiff as she grows and learns that she shouldn’t be doing all the things I’ve listed here?

I’ll be tuning in to find out tomorrow. Because, despite its flaws, the series is often quite sweet and funny. I know that the intended audience is people who laugh at perverts rather than us actual perverts. But, you know, I’ll take it.

It may not be the most accurate depiction of people like me doing stuff I like doing but it’s nice that it’s there at all.

Bonding Season Two starts on 27th January 2021 and is available on Netflix.